The highly anticipated 23/24 season kicked off this weekend with three teams making their debuts.
Goldfish vs. Give Her One For Me
This one wasn't close.
The returning Tyreek Hill scored 40 for the Goldfish, while Prescott laid an egg for Team G.H.O.F.M.
"Look we got off to a decent start, and then Tyreek took over the game" said Goldfish Head Coach Luke Cassidy "that was one of the big reasons we took him back this year - he's unplayable at times".
Rookie owner for G.H.O.F.M wasn't happy after the loss. "This game makes no sense" Mr. McMahon told the press "How do 2 players get injured in the game, 1 before it starts and another lad get suspended for 4 weeks. I missed a driving test for this!".
Dairy Cows vs Philly not Hurting Nemore
After a last place finish last year, Philly not Hurting Nemore are back with a new name and a new philosophy - just win baby. Unfortunately, the Dairy Cows would not be denied as they themselves look to improve on a solid midtable finish last season.
"MOOOOOO" Dairy Cows Head Coach Gary Walsh screamed in his cow onesie at the post-match press conference, "fucking MOO".
Philly HC Martin Regan was less enthused post-game, stating "Tom Finnerty is a dirty k*****r and stole my kicker".
Despite some of his starters underperforming, Regan's bench performed well with Pittman and Hurst impressing. Giving Philly fans hope for next week and beyond.
Team pb2 vs Rossie Rascals
The Rossies had defence to thank with the Cowboys D leading the charge scoring a monster 40 points.
Real life Cowboy and part-time team owner Stephen Murray entered the press conference on horse back, shouting "Up the Rossies" and "YEEHAW" while he blared Levels on speaker.
Paul Burke was unavailable for comment.
Ballinderry Big Bucks vs. Donegal Demolition Men
The shock of week one was the fall of reigning champions Big Bucks to rookie HC Mike Donoghue and his Demolition Men.
The pride of Kenya and Donegal, the Demolition Men had Mahomes and Aiyuk to thank for victory. "We knew coming in here it would be a tough test" Donoghue said afterwards "the training camp in Kenya went fierce well and you could see that sharpness today".
Ballinderry GM Shane Coffey was stoic in his response "it's a long season" he said calmly "plenty left to play, we'll see where we are at the end of they year". When asked if he could see any areas for improvement, he stated bluntly "yeah, that p***k JuJu is never wearing Ballinderry colours again"
Shananigans vs. Castledaly Crusaders
The first Westmeath derby of the year, and victory went to the juggernaut Shananigans team and HC Kevin Gannon. When asked what made the difference in this game, Mr. Gannon replied "It's what I do baby. Win Win Win no matter what - it's my credo"
Crusaders GM Tom Finnerty looked at the positives after the defeat "at least I've a great kicker".
Round Up
