With Week 2 in the books, the league and it's new GMs are beginning to settle into life in the least competitive league in the world. It was another chaotic week with injuries potentially changing the landscape of the N.F.L - here's how things shook out!
Glomerstown Goldfish vs Philly not Hurting Nemore
The Goldfish almost snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with some terrible coaching decisions, leaving over 80 points on the bench. Cousins, Mostert and Robinson were on inspired form, while rumours of a disgruntled dressing room swirl.
"They weren't booing me" HC Luke Cassidy said defiantly, "they were screaming Luuuuuuuuuke.... obviously"
Meanwhile GM Martin Regan has wasted no time in shaking up his roster, giving the boot to Tight End Hayden Hurst and Kicker Tyler Bass. When asked why get rid of Bass after a solid 8 point showing, he simply stated "He's not a Young hoe".
Derrybrien Dairy Cows vs. Ballinderry Big Bucks
In what was described as the "ding dong battle" of the weekend, the Big Bucks emerged victorious despite a solid Dairy Cow resistance. The Big Bucks had rookie sensation Puka Nacua on the bench, after scoring 30 he may give his HC a selection headache moving forward.
"His tape my scouts sent over didn't impress me" replied HC Shane Coffey when asked why he didn't start Puka Nacua "it's on Youtube, I thought he was a shagging goblin". The Big Bucks fired their scouting team on Monday morning.
Dairy Cows HC Gary Walsh was in a sombre mood after the game. "moooo" he said, "just moooo".
Team pb2 vs Castledaly Crusaders
It was Crusaders HC Tom Finnerty celebrating this week as his side bounced back from an opening round defeat in style. Hurts, McCaffrey and Higgins had strong showings.
"I was the fittest I ever was when we had a trampoline in the garden" commented Finnerty, as he explained McCaffreys performance "Christian came to me and he said, Coach I want to be as athletic as you were in your prime. Please help me. So I have him on an exclusive exercise program of trampolining and diet of mashed potato. He loves it".
Team pb2 Head Coach Paul Burke was unavailable for comment.
Rossie Rascals vs. Shanhanigans
The Rascals continued their unbeaten start to the season after a match up many are predicting could be seen in this years final. Williams, White and Lockett had great games.
HC Stephan Murray, who was very clearly inebriated after the game said "Lockett? I thought you said get locked"
Shanhanigans HC Kevin Gannon was clearly frustrated. With Calvin Ridley and the Jets defence underperforming. "The Rascals can suck a fat dick" he said after the game "we'll see them again soon" before repeatedly giving the finger to the press box.
Give her one for me vs. Donegal Demolition Men
In a battle of the rookies, Niiips McMahon's men led by Daniel Jones and TJ Hockenson had enough to see off the challenge of the Demolition Men.
"The pressure got to us" Donegal's HC Mike Donoghue said after the game, "some lads just aren't able for senior championship". After the game, the Demolition Men cleaned house with 5 players kicked off the roster. Reports suggest Donoghue met them all at the door as they were leaving to offer some final words.
McMahon was also ruthless after the game, cutting WR Zay Jones after he served a tasty duck egg. "You can forget about Zay Jones as a man as far as I'm concerned" he was overheard saying after the game.